2025-03-09: No Second Breakfast today because I woke up late

Hello readers. I didn't have a second breakfast today, as I woke up late and just felt like having a second coffee. I drove to Muzz Buzz, because most other places where I live have become subpar. We've received more fan mail from Omi, who lives on the Sunshine Coast and has been missing her second breakfasts due to tropical cyclone Alfred. She writes:

No second Breakfast here
Got to save every crumb
Many shops are closed and if they open they are empty
So second breakfast has to wait.

- Omi

Many of our readers would be aware by now of the devastation cyclone Alfred is causing to people on the east coast, and their second breakfasts. People have emtied shelves at local supermarkets, so it's very hard to get supplies - let alone enough for a second breakfast. I will give you this advice Omi: while things are tough, you may have to skip second breakfast. A dreadful outcome to be sure, but desperate times call for desperate measures. The only other thing that comes to mind is that you could halve your first breakfast, then eat the other half for your second breakfast. I hope you are staying safe! take care and good luck getting your second breakfasts in, I hear the shops will be reopening soon, and hopefully the shelves will be restocked!

2025-03-07: A mid morning treat

Hi all. This morning I blended up the remainder of the watermelon in my fridge, and added 2 plums that were ripe. It was a very tasty fruit smoothie, and I had a muesli bar. I had to go into work after second breakfast to prepare for my work trip next week, so I didn't have time to make something more substantial, and I ate all the sourdough already.

2025-03-04: The tale of Simple Jack

Simple Jack was a simple boy who liked simple things. He liked computer games, watching TV, eating simple foods (nothing with yucky vegetables), and above all else: Simple Jack loved to do bugger-all nothing.
Simple Jack routinely woke up so late in the morning that most people would be having lunch, and stayed up very late getting sucked into rabbit holes on YouTube and TikTok.

Simple Jack woke up at midday one day, stretched, and had a look at his surroundings. "What shall I do today?", he thought. Jack didn't have to go shopping, or pay any bills today. Jack smiled. He knew today would be a great day to do bugger-all nothing. He envisioned himself scratching his arse, and picking boogs while bingeing Netflix.
"I know!", he said as he snapped his fingers. Jack went to the fridge and pulled out the ingredients to make a cheese-sauce sandwich; the king of sandwiches. Jack tossed the sandwich down his gullet and through the dirty knife and plate into the sink, instead of washing them right away. "Can't be bothered today", he thought.
He had a look in the fridge for something to wash the sandwich down with. He spotted an almost full iced coffee in the back. "You beauty!", he exclaimed. He guzzled the iced coffee down and looked for the thing to make his "morning" complete. On the counter was his vape - he picked it up and went outside to vape his tits off. He had quit ciggies not long ago, but just couldn’t give up the vape. He liked the taste of it, and he like looking like a dragon when he exhaled.
Jack took one last look over his balcony into the complex in which he lived. Across the road, some cracked out spastic was losing their mind, shouting obscenities and cursing her shopping trolley. With nothing else pressing to do today, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Sensational", he thought.

2025-03-01: Nutcracker Girl VS Second Breakfastman I

It was 10 on a Saturday morning. I sat in my La-Z-Boy, rocking slowly back and forth, surveying my surroundings. I sipped on my 2nd coffee of the morning, eyes squinting around the room. It was quiet... too quiet.
The kids were playing with their Lego quietly, and the pool pump was going. I had a sense of uneasiness - something just didn't feel right. My senses tingled. I knew it was time to change.
I went into the bedroom and put my toast cowl and crepe cape on and rushed back into the living room. I could hear the kids playing on the trampoline outside, and even the dog had gone outside.
I could hear footsteps approaching. My eyes narrowed.
That's when she turned the corner. I knew things were about to get crazy.

"Nutcracker girl", I muttered.
"Second Breakfastman" came the reply.

Nutcracker girl was literally nuts. A super villian bent on punching people in the nuts whenever they didn't agree with her. And she didn't care for second breakfast at all.

She started running towards me. I had to react quickly. She lunged - but I dodged and parried with my own style of combat.
"CHEEEESE SLICE!", I said as I karate chopped her.
... but she evaded!
Oh no! I wasn't quick enough, and she closed in now. That could only mean -

"NUT BUSTER!". POW. Straight in the nuts!
I fell over in agony, grasping what was left of my nuts.

"MWAHAHAHA! take that, Second Breakfastman!" she said, cackling. She ran off, into the darkness.

"Blast!" I thought. I was still searing in pain. I reached into my utility belt, and grabbed a pancake with maple syrup. I started to chew on it, and followed it down with my coffee, still warm. I could feel my faculties returning, but my nuts were lodged so far into my guts that it would take hours before they returned. "I best not talk to anyone for a few hours", I squeaked. I got to my feet, went into my room and removed the toast cowl and crepe cape. She had gotten the best of me this time - but I knew her fatal weakness: she absolutely hated not getting screen time in the afternoon. My eyes narrowed.

"Until our next meeting, then.", I thought. I knew I would get my chance again, and soon...

2025-02-28: Second Breakfastman Begins

I'm Second Breakfastman, the dark knight of mid morning munchies. The hero that this nation needs.
It all started when my father was killed. The nurses said it was cancer, but I always suspected it had to do with the way he never ate second breakfast - my Mother to this day has not ever mentioned that my Father ever ate second breakfast. I grew up with so much anger. I had to do something. I had to avenge my father.
And so I trained in secret - perfecting my art of picking the crunchiest apples, or toasting bread to perfection. My training was long and not without difficulty. But I was determined, and I wanted revenge.

One morning, not long after I dropped the kids off to school, I stopped into the shops and a lady was screaming and crying on the ground. "Won't anybody help me!" she said. "I'm so hungry! that bowl of corn flakes was just not enough! I won't be able to make it to the car!"
I knew this lady was in real trouble - she wouldn't last much longer. I rushed into an area where no one could see me, and punched 2 eye holes into a piece of toast, and donned my toast cowl and crepe cape. I rushed out to her aid, and said: "Not to fear miss! help is on the way!"
I whipped up a fruit smoothie as quickly as I could, and poured it down her throat. Just when I thought she was near death - she coughed and spluttered, then she started breathing slowly, then normally. She looked up and said "Thank you whoever you are, you've saved my life!"
I smiled, got up, and took off - flying out of the store in my toast cowl and crepe cape. I knew then that this was my calling. This was the beginning... of Second Breakfastman.

2025-02-27: Any excuse for a second breakfast

I know what you're thinking. He didn't have second breakfast. AGAIN. Well, you'd be wrong. DEAD wrong. Today I did have second breakfast, and it was a real treat. I went to the pharmacy this morning to grab something, and decided to stop into the bakery... (at this point my mother is reading this and her eyes are popping) That's right. I went to the bakery section in coles and grabbed a cinnamon swirl, and I also grabbed an iced coffee - my wife is also reading this and I can see her furrowed brow - but she can unclench because they were both reduced. I mean, they were practically throwing them out. In exchange for money, of course. So there you have it, it's almost a tradie's smoko, if you will (in that case the only thing missing would be a cigarette). I came home, checked my emails, put on Netflix in the background and gobbled the cinnamon scroll up. Then I guzzled the iced coffee down, and threw it in the trash - which I will later take to get 10c back because we have a container deposit scheme in WA. Absolutely rivetting journalism right here, 10/10.

2025-02-26: No fruit smoothie for me

Hello friends. It is with sadness I inform you that I did not have a fruit smoothie for second breakfast this morning, as I said I would. I would like to apologise to the community, friends, and family. I intend to make up for it by having a half decent second breakfast tomorrow morning, assuming I am not bogged down in work and endless meetings again. Things have certainly been very busy lately, and I'm preparing for a big work trip in a couple of weeks time so things need to be finalised before I go, and I'm finding that the list of things to do never seems to end. I did manage to have a nice coffee with my neighbour Rob again, he stopped in and we had a good chat about the things happening in the town. Anyway, I digress. We've had some fan mail from Omi, and it sounds like she may the winner of the second breakfast party today! she had a better second breakfast than I did:

Got up early to have my first breakfast which was a herbal tea and my second breakfast would be a hot cup of coffee and then later on i am going to have a jam toast and then I weak up the neighbourhood and do dome garden work( not)

- Omi

Well, there you have it. I find myself jealous of your coffee and jam toast! I love a good jam. Maybe I'll have one tomorrow for second breakfast. Well thanks for reaching out again Omi, it's always nice to hear from our readers.

2025-02-25: Sourdough for second breakfast

Hi all. This morning I had enough time to cut up and toast my wife's fresh sourdough for second breakfast. I added nutelex and a cheddar cheese spread that I got from Aldi. My wife also had sliced sourdough, although not toasted, and with sliced cheese instead. After I saw this, I had an extra slice of sourdough but not toasted. I think fresh sourdough is very tasty, and will not grow tired of it. I think tomorrow I will do something with fruit. I feel another smoothie might hit the spot.

2025-02-24: No second breakfast today, but a good update and Q+A

Hello friends of the second breakfast party! It's true, I've been very busy at work today so I didn't get a chance to have a second breakfast. My wife baked a sourdough bread though, so I'll be using that tomorrow morning. Now, for the update - you may have noticed a difference in the navigation. All of the blogposts are located under the 'blog' link, with only the latest update on the main page. I did this because the page was becoming quite large with all the updates on there. Also, I've added an RSS feed to the site. This is a simple way for people to get updates without signing up for emails, and the link is at the bottom underneath 'How does it work?', it's a little orange symbol. You can copy the link and add it to MS Outlook under 'RSS subscriptions' or any other RSS feed app. Every time I update the site, the RSS feed updates automatically.

Now, onto other matters. We've had more fan mail, let's start with another one from Omi:

I worked out that when I eat every 4 hours, I have plenty of time to sleep
6am first breakfast
10 second breakfast
2 pm lunch
6pm dinner
And than rest???
No that doesn’t work for me ???

- Omi

This is a tough one - but I think I have a solution: what if you just eat a massive second breakfast - stuff as much down your gob as you can, and then I think you will need a nap because you won't be able to move. Then, when you wake up you can have another second breakfast, and that should do until you rest and do it all again the next day. Wow! 2 second breakfasts in 1 day! what a dream. I hope this has been helpful!

Alright, moving on. We have another one from Mandy today:

Good morning Darcy, thank you for sharing your experience with sardines – very interesting.

My question is this – if, like today, I am about to have my first breakfast at midday (weird time commitments this morning), does that make my second breakfast lunch or arvo tea?

Thanks and keep up the good work.

- Mandy

What a great question. I think if you are having breakfast at midday, then you are already rejecting the illusion of society's mealtime constraints, and therefore all meals are second breakfasts. It might be helpful to ask someone who is unemployed what they think - a lot of people like that don't get up until midday because they have nowhere better to be, so they would be experts in this area. That sounds like a fun excursion! head on over to a local Centrelink and ask someone there - there will probably be someone sitting on the steps smoking a ciggy or drinking grog who can help you. Best of luck getting your answers!

2025-02-23: A second breakfast with Bear

Hello readers, this morning we had some mail from Bear with a fantastic request!

Good morning Darcy

I have not so much a question more of a proposal.
Due to the over committed work schedules of my humans I have not been getting second breakfast.
I thought you might be able to take time out of your 'busy' day to visit me and give me my second breakfast. In return I would be prepared to share my tin of sardines with you.
Let me know your thoughts on this.

Your dog-in-law

- Bear

Well, we certainly thought it was a great idea, so we went to go and see Bear for second breakfast this morning!

Bear was nice enough to share his sardines with us, my Daughter even had a try. I had not had sardines for a very long time, and I would describe the taste like tuna but less dry. Then we had a cup of tea, and we went home. Thanks for inviting us over for second breakfast, Bear!

2025-02-22: Too busy for a second breakfast, but not too busy to respond to our fans

Hello readers, I hope you've all been having your second breakfasts! sadly this morning I did not. We had to get up earlier than I care to be awake on a Saturday for early morning swimming lessons for the kids, then we went to the shops for some things after, so all I had for second breakfast was a second coffee today. Anyway, we've had more fan mail again, this one is from Brod:

Hi,

I have a question about second breakfast. Where is the line between second breakfast and morning tea or brunch? What keeps it categorized as a breakfast and not the other categories? I note that brunch usually acts as an extension to breakfast foods, albeit more heartier, and morning tea normally has no resemblance to breakfast, often consisting of snacks or heated pastries. I am so hopelessly confused and in desperate need of your guidance, exalted one.

- Brod

What a fantastic question, and you have certainly come to the right place. As your second breakfast advisor I would say this: morning tea is more of a snack usually followed by a trip to the bathroom, and according to the experts at districtmagazine.ie brunch is "the week's gayest meal". Second breakfast however, is a meal slightly less (or even slightly more) substantial than breakfast, and arguably more important. It also has no sexual orientation, and can be enjoyed by all. Thanks again for reaching out Brod, we hope that clears things up!

2025-02-21: A juicy second breakfast with fan mail

Hello friends of the second breakfast party! you may have noticed that I did not post a second breakfast yesterday, and for that I do apologise to our community of friends. I was just too busy to have a second breakfast yesterday, so I thought it would not be a good idea to write about one. I did have second breakfast today however - I had some apples, plums, and watermelon. I buzzed up the watermelon and plums to make a nice juice, and I had the apples sliced. It was a nice treat for the mid morning!

Now, to make up for yesterday we can go over some fan mail. Essie writes the following:

Can second breakfast be before bedtime? Asking for a friend.

- Essie

What a great question Essie. Conventional wisdom tells us that typically a meal before bed is a desert, or perhaps even a supper, but if you plan your second breakfast and decide to eat if before bed then is the meal able to identify as a second breakfast? this is a great question of our time. As to not offend other meals, I would say this: Eat breakfast, then have a second breakfast. Then sleep for about 20 hours, and you can in fact say that a second breakfast can be had before bed-time. Hope that helps!

We have also had a reply back from Omi:

I get up at 6 am and only have a Jam-toast and a coffee
Bei 11 I have my lunch I could put a second lunch in???
At 3pm??? Hahaha Xxx

- Omi

A just question indeed Omi. I would advise that if you are struggling to fit time in for a second breakfast that you simply wake up 3 hours earlier! I hope this fixes the problem. Well that is all we have time for today, see you all tomorrow!

2025-02-19: Smashed avo and poached eggs, yum!

Hello readers! this morning I had a sensational second breakfast. Poached eggs on sourdough with cream cheese, smashed avocado, and a nice machine coffee. It was a great second breakfast to have while reading some fan mail! here is some below:

Darcy if I eat a second Breakfast I end up 100kg.
I try to eat less not more.
Because with age the bones don't carry that much.
Love Omi xxx

- Omi

Thanks for your mail Omi, my advice to you is this: if you skip your first breakfast then you can have a nice second breakfast without adding extra calories!

Let's look at some more fan mail, this one is from Mandy:

Lovin the words mister!!

- Mandy

Thanks for your kind words Mandy! we love to write about second breakfasts, and we love annoying updating people via email!

2025-02-18: A busy Tuesday second breakfast

Hello readers, I haven't forgotten you. I've been very busy indeed! I was up late last night working and my Daughter was ill so I didn't have time to make an early second breakfast. I did however have a later one in the form of buzzed up watermelon with my Daughter, and she liked it. I have always liked watermelon, so it was a nice chilled refreshing second breakfast. I also had my neighbour Rob over for a coffee which was nice, because we hadn't caught up in a while so it is good to know he's doing well. I would also like to welcome our newest members - the Sloans! I've been told that the Sloans love a good second breakfast, and love being harrassed by email about it even more - which is fantastic, because I'm more than happy to oblige. Welcome to the second breakfast club, the Sloans!

2025-02-17: A tasty treat for Monday morning

This morning is a special update because I have been doing lots of work in the background to improve secondbreakfast.party, and all this work has made me hungry! This morning for second breakfast I had cream cheese on high-protein wholegrain toast with mediterranean style olives (yum!), and a latte that I made on my coffee machine. Overall, a great second breakfast!

2025-02-16: No second breakfast this Sunday

On Sunday I didn't have a second breakfast, but this is because we went to a park with a nice playground with some friends. Even though it was warm, there was good shade at the park as it's a new one so I didn't have to hide under a tree like Gollum. After a play we went to our friends house and they provided coffee and salad sandwiches which was really nice, and hit the spot. So, while there was no second breakfast, I am no worse off for it.

2025-02-15: A sensational Saturday second breakfast

This morning I woke up after 8am because I was up late the night before migrating the second breakfast entries into a new database. I didn't feel bad because my wife also slept in, so our kids were out of bed before us. Anyway, I had to take the kids to swimming lessons, and after that we went to Bunnings to get some plants. We got coffees (I had a vanilla latte) and also had some carrot cake from the cafe which was nice. The kids played on the Bunnings playground for a bit, then we came home. I really liked the carrot cake, and despite my kids having their own cake they decided they liked mine too.

2025-02-14: An unrushed second breakfast

Today I woke up a little later and so had second breakfast a little later. I dropped off the kids at school and came home to no new emails or notifications - as they say, no news is good news. Because I had nothing pressing, I toasted some sourdough bread and had some cream cheese with it, along with a coffee from my coffee machine. Nothing as extravagent as yesterday, but it hit the spot nicely, and I may also yet have a piece of fruit to go with it. I would like to mention an honorary member of the second breakfast club - Bear, my dog-in-law who has reached 100 in dog years and likes to eat sardines for second breakfast. Well done to you Bear, may you see many more second breakfasts.

2025-02-13: A good second breakfast after bad news

Today did not start well. When I checked my work emails, restructuring had been announced which usually means redundancies. Fortunately for me however, I found out later that my role had not been impacted. Anyway, I dropped the kids off to school and I had to swing by the shops to get bread and other things, so I got a Brownes 300ml iced coffee at Coles and went to the bakery. I had to get some bread at Bakers Delight, and because I'm a member I got a special offer to purchase a coconut and raspberry hot cross bun so I bought it. So I came home and had my iced coffee and hot cross bun for second breakfast today, and it was a great way to turn a bad start to the day around!

2025-02-12: An early lunch

Today I decided to have some leftover quesadillas from last night and I added some hot sauce. I also had a coffee that I made with my coffee machine. I think it was a nice combination and broke up the day a bit before I had to do more work.